Friday, March 11, 2016

A Poem for my Mother



YouTube - Avril Lavigne-nobody's Home







I can no longer protect the one who hurt me the most, and I officially declare myself as independent and free.


 Goodbye for now to The Powers That Beat, I am growing so tired of that nightmare where I cannot move my feet.


I am one today, but I am not alone; my DNA and birthright does not make me a clone.


Any genetic disorders, whatever they may be; will never again stand in the way for my fight to be free.


My bloodline alone comes right back to you, and your ridiculous denials are nothing new.


I must protect myself from your twisted mind, never forget, late last night, you left me behind.


You may think I have forgotten all your hysterical pleas, but I am legally required to remind you of these.


I hope you are ready for what lies ahead, because I do not think anyone else will agree this was all in my head.


You may dispose of my photos, writings, and more, I am sorry you do not realize you have officially now escalated funny money into a full-fledged war.


You declared this yourself, on March the Fourteenth, and I will expect it in writing before the next April 15th.


You no longer manipulate my ID or actions and blame; for I am not the one who falsely claims to be poor.


 You may find it a little bit harder to blame it on crazy and point the finger at me; I am posting it here for the whole to see.


Do not blame my siblings or my father's new wife; material wealth should mean more value than your own child's life.

I got excluded from the human genome, stop feeding me crazy, just bring it back home.


The suicide note I once left in your possession, should no longer be guarded as your greatest protection.


I defy the heritage that left me broken inside; any tears I have shed will finally subside;  I no longer will allow myself to be tried by the ridiculous facade that has given YOU a false sense of pride.


I am now on my own, as was always the case; it is so very sad you thought of this as a race.


I will honor your request to sever all ties; it is long overdue that I be free from your lies.


I never signed on to your game of deception, there was much more at stake than a strangers' perception.


So just as you once photographed my tattoo, sadly but surely, this one joke is on you.


I doubt you heard my very last words, but they were words of sincerity I hope that you'll review because my concern was genuine; just too familiar, we discussed nothing new.


I defy my heritage and reject your faith; I think I am worth more than an aborted mistake.


I declare my freedom and reject your "good faith" I am sorry you believe I was your biggest mistake.


You are so transparent it is easy to see, I hope you leave this behind the same way you left me.


My bloodline runs deeper than your maternal pride; I pray for your sake psychosis is real, for I see no other way your pain will ever be healed.


I am over and done with this stupid game, I gave you more than one warning to amend your tax claim.


So as I fight for my freedom, my health and my name, I hope your psychosis protects you from shame.


I must no longer allow trauma to guide me through life; I cannot worry about details as you become a new wife, you are correct in your assessment that you have earned all the "things" you cling to for dear life.

If there ever was a time to say, "This too shall pass...," then please go ahead and kiss my tattooed fat ass!





YouTube - Savage Garden - Crash 'n' Burn






It is time to start to focus on answers...

The events leading me into this circle of despair must no longer guide me through life.


If I am to escape the vivid memories of past,

Now, it is time to live free or die, I hope for one day that my focus can last.


Today I am asking for hope, "please give me one last chance to live free from fear."




YouTube - Alanis Morissette - You owe me nothing in return



Thank you,  



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