Took meds a few hours late but starting to feel better. I turned pc off until I can call the help desk at Columbia - only 29 mins on lifeline phone and I need to buy DVDs or USB to back up data b4 reformatting. I have an unusual error- it is also a very strange frequency - sounds like analog radio but disrupts my connection. Was so close with web site. Deeply disappointed in myself. I even had a title for first post:
"Searching for truth in a web of lies"
I believe Jude is trying to frame me for computer crimes. Like Gary, but I can assure you I have not hacked anything other than my own email account (and unsuccessfully at that!) She claims I "illegally tampered with tweets" I asked a lawyer and legal assistant at my dad's office if that was even a crime. I was kinda hoping it was so I could sue the rhinestone studded jeans of her liposuctioned tummy tucked manicured asset loving ass! Shit, after seeing how many times she used my credentials and oAUTH I could leave for the UK or NZ tomorrow! Just saw two tweets accusing me of soliciting money like one a jerry's kids in a telethon. No doubt one of Jude's sick followers. Accused me of being of a con artist just looking for handouts and charity. The stranger in my timeline sent one to notify the public at large, and the second was directed at me personally telling me that I should be ashamed of myself for taking charity from people who are actually deserving of things like food, toilet paper, and neon tampons on sale for a buck at the dollar general. (where everything is NOT a dollar) Both were sent on Mew Years. I want to puke. And I want real tampons and dryer sheets. Bus fare and enough money buy a day-planner like i had in college and a pack of rollerball pens. The kind they sell in packs of 5 or seven - uniball rollerball bold colours. I used to use them in college to keep my days and thoughts in order. Red was legal, blue health insurance, green was financial records, yellow useless unless it was one of those highlighters with post it notes built in for marking my favourite quotes! Magenta was my favourite colour to journal with on recycled paper. It bad a special feel to it. Guess it was my OCD tactile compulsion!
Who would want to be such an asshole?
Have I ever solicited donations or cash on twitter ?
I sure hope this website doesn't get me in trouble for putting the truth out there. I don't even know the people who say these horrid things so why does it hurt so much? Actually- that is precisely why. Because they are sheep. They have no clue what it feels like to like in this- with so much potential and so little opportunity. That's my morning dose of TMI. Thank you for allowing me to share a bit of sadness and a bit of myself. I know I won't be Elizabeth Wurtzel or Jonathan Kozol, but maybe some lost kid will wonder across these raw posts and feel a little less lonely for a minute. Love and tears for all the lost. Love and grAtitide to you all for allowing me the opportunity to feel my feelings without judgement or resentment. Just me,
January 22, 2011